Fight between Husband and Wife

This is the best and most civil way

to have a fight between husband and wife instead of resorting to physical force... 

Poems written byWIFE andHUSBAND.


WIFE:
I wrote your name on sand it got washed. 
I wrote your name in air, it was blown away. 
Then I wrote your name on my heart & I got Heart Attack.
HUSBAND:
God saw me hungry, he created pizza.
He saw me thirsty, he created Pepsi. 
He saw me in the dark, he created light. 
He saw me without problems, he created YOU. 
WIFE:
Twinkle twinkle little star
You should know what you are
And once you know what you are
Mental hospital is not so far 
HUSBAND:
The rain makes all things beautiful. 
The grass and flowers too. 
If rain makes all things beautiful
Why doesn't it rain on you?
WIFE:
Roses are red; Violets are blue
Monkeys like you should be kept in a zoo. 
Don't feel so angry, you will find me there too
Not in the cage but outside, laughing at you

 AND THE SAGA CONTINUES........ 

Position of a Husband Is just like a Split AC

No matter however Loud he is in the Outdoors

He is designed to remain Silent indoors...

.....................................................................

"Husband is one who is the head of the family,

but his wife is the neck, and whichever way she turns, he goes."

........................................................................

A man in Hell asked Devil:

Can I make a call to my Wife?

After making call he asked how much to pay.

Devil : Nothing, Hell to hell is Free.

................................................................

 

Husband: Do you know the meaning of WIFE?

It means, Without Information, Fighting Everytime!

Wife: No darling, it means - With Idiot For Ever

...........................................................................
 

Wife: I wish I was a newspaper,
So I'd be in your hands all day.

Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper,
So I could have a new one every day.

.................................................................

 

Doctor: Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping Pills.

Wife: When must I give them to him?

Doctor: They are for you

...................................................................

 

Wife: I had to marry you to find out how stupid you are..

Husband: You should have known it the minute I asked you to marry me.

....................................................................

 

Wife: What will you give me if I climb the great Mount Everest ?

Husband: A lovely Push...!

and the life goes on........

Jokes on Doctor

Let me tell you about my doctor. He's very good! If you tell him you want a second opinion, He'll go out and come in again.
~~~~~
He treated one woman for yellow jaundice for three years before he realized she was Chinese.
~~~~~
Another time, he gave a patient six months to live. At the end of the six months, the patient hadn't paid his bill, So, the doctor gave him another six months.
~~~~~
While he was talking to me, his nurse came in and said, "Doctor, there is a man here who thinks he's invisible." The doctor said, "Tell him I can't see him."
~~~~~
Another time, a man came running in the office and yelled, "Doctor, doctor! - my son just swallowed a roll of film!" The doctor calmly replied, "Let's just wait and see what develops."
~~~~~
One patient came in and said, "Doctor, I have a serious memory problem." The doctor asked,"When did it start?" The man replied, "When did what start?"
~~~~~
I remember one time I told my doctor I had a ringing in my ears. His advice: "Don't answer it."
~~~~~
My doctor sure has his share of nut cases. One said to him, "Doctor, I think I'm a bell." The doctor gave him some pills and said, "Here, take these - If they don't work, give me a ring."
~~~~~
Another guy told the doctor that he thought he was a deck of cards. The doctor simply said, "Go sit over there. I'll deal with you later."
~~~~~
When I told my doctor I broke my leg in two places, He told me to stop going to those places.
~~~~~
You know, doctors can be so frustrating. You wait a month and a half for an appointment, then he says, "I wish you had come to me sooner

The Charitable Husband

The Charitable Husband...

A wife arriving home from a shopping trip was horrified to find her husband in bed with a lovely young woman.
She screamed at him: "You're a pig! A pig with no honor! How dare you do this to me! I'm your faithful wife!"


She was about to storm off when her husband stopped her with these words: "Wait a minute, let me at least explain what happened!"


"Fine!" cried the angry wife, "but they will be your last words to me!"


"Well, while I was driving along the highway, I saw this young girl here, looking tired and haggard. I felt sorry for her, so I brought her home.
She was hungry, so I made her a meal from the roast beef you thought was too fattening.

Her sandals were torn so I gave her a pair of good shoes you had discarded because they had gone out of style.

She was cold, so I gave her the sweater I got you for your birthday that you don't wear because the colors don't suit you.

Her slacks were worn out, so I gave her a pair of yours that you liked before your sister bought the same pair.


Then, as she was about to leave the house, she turned to me and said pleadingly, "Please, please, is there anything ELSE your wife doesn't use anymore?"

Killing Politician

Chitragupt's problem

Chitragupt's problem:

One day Chitragupt told Brahma that he should stop this scheme - that if ladies keep 'Karva Chauth', they will get the same husband for the next 7 janams.
Brahma asked,"Why?"
Chitragupt: "Prabhu, its becoming very difficult to manage. The ladies want the same husband and the husbands want a new wife. It's a problem to convince both".
Brahma: "But this can’t be stopped. It’s been going on since times immemorial".
Just then, Narad Muni, comes and suggests, "On earth, there is a great person called Santa Singh. Ask him for a solution".
Chitragupt meets Santa Singh. In one minute Santa Singh solves the problem.

Santa Singh advises Chitragupt: "Any lady who wants the same husband, tell her she will also get the same MOTHER IN LAW".