Friday 25 July 2014

Boss



A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?

The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow and rested.

All of a sudden a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story : To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Clever Neighbor



A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower & the doorbell rings.

After a few seconds of arguing over who should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives up, quickly wraps herself up in a towel and runs downstairs.

Then she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor.

Before she says a word, Bob says, "I will give you $800 just to drop that towel that you have on" After thinking for a moment , the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.

Bob has a close look at her for a few seconds, hands over $800 and quickly leaves.

Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the woman wraps back up in the towel and goes upstairs.

When she gets back to the bathroom, her husband asks from the shower " who was that ?"

"It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.

"Great," the husband says, " did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?" :)

Moral of the story :

Share critical credit information with your stakeholders to prevent avoidable exposure!

Wednesday 23 July 2014

3 Parrots



3 PARROTS

A man wanted to buy his son a parrot as a birthday present.
The next day he went to the pet shop and saw three identical parrots in a cage.
He asked the clerk, "how much for the parrot on the right?
The owner said it was Rs. 2500.
“Rs. 2500.”, the man said. "Well what does he do?
“He knows how to use all of the functions of Microsoft Office 2000, responds the clerk.
“He can do all of your spreadsheets and type all of your letters.”
The man then asked what the second parrot cost.
The clerk replied, Rs. 5000, but he not only knows Office 2000,
but is an expert computer programmer.

Finally, the man inquired about the cost of the last parrot.
The clerk replied, “Rs. 10,000.”
Curious as to how a bird can cost Rs. 10,000, the man asked what this bird’s specialty was.
The clerk replies, "Well to be honest I haven’t seen him do anything.

But the other two call him " BOSS"!!

Saturday 19 July 2014

14 short stories worth reading, feeling and forwarding to all those dear to you..

1. Fall and Rise
Today, when I slipped on the wet tile floor a boy in a wheelchair caught me before I slammed my head on the ground. He said, “Believe it or not, that’s almost exactly how I injured my back 3 years ago .
2. A father's advice
Today, my father told me, “Just go for it and give it a try! You don’t have to be a professional to build a successful product. Amateurs started Google and Apple. Professionals built the Titanic
3. The power of uniqueness.
Today, I asked my mentor – a very successful business man in his 70’s – what his top 3 tips are for success. He smiled and said, “Read something no one else is reading, think something no one else is thinking, and do something no one else is doing.
4. Looking Back
Today, I interviewed my grandmother for part of a research paper I’m working on for my Psychology class. When I asked her to define success in her own words, she said, “Success is when you look back at your life and the memories make you smile.
5. Try and U shall know
I am blind by birth. When I was 8 years old, I wanted to play baseball. I asked my father- "Dad, can I play baseball?" He said "You'll never know until you try." When I was a teenager, I asked him, - "Dad Can I become a surgeon?". He replied "Son, you'll never know until you try." Today I am a Surgeon, just because I tried!
6. GOODNESS & GRATITUDE
Today, after a 72 hour shift at the fire station, a woman ran up to me at the grocery store and gave me a hug. When I tensed up, she realized I didn’t recognize her. She let go with tears of joy in her eyes and the most sincere smile and said, “On 9-11-2001, you carried me out of the World Trade Center.”
7. LOVE CONQUERS PAIN
Today, after I watched my dog get run over by a car, I sat on the side of the road holding him and crying. And just before he died, he licked the tears off my face.
8. A DOOR CLOSES TO OPEN ANOTHER
Today at 7AM, I woke up feeling ill, but decided I needed the money, so I went into work. At 3PM I got laid off. On my drive home I got a flat tire. When I went into the trunk for the spare, it was flat too. A man in a BMW pulled over, gave me a ride, we chatted, and then he offered me a job. I start tomorrow.
9. LOOKING BACK
Today, as my father, three brothers, and two sisters stood around my mother’s hospital bed, my mother uttered her last coherent words before she died. She simply said, “I feel so loved right now. We should have gotten together like this more often.”
10. AFFECTION
Today, I kissed my dad on the forehead as he passed away in a small hospital bed. About 5 seconds after he passed, I realized it was the first time I had given him a kiss since I was a little boy.
11. INNOCENCE
Today, in the cutest voice, my 8-year-old daughter asked me to start recycling. I chuckled and asked, “Why?” She replied, “So you can help me save the planet.” I chuckled again and asked, “And why do you want to save the planet?” “Because that’s where I keep all my stuff,” she said.
12. JOY
Today, when I witnessed a 27-year-old breast cancer patient laughing hysterically at her 2-year-old daughter’s antics, I suddenly realized that I need to stop complaining about my life and start celebrating it again.
13. KINDNESS
Today, a boy in a wheelchair saw me desperately struggling on crutches with my broken leg and offered to carry my backpack and books for me. He helped me all the way across campus to my class and as he was leaving he said, “I hope you feel better soon.”.
14. SHARING
Today, I was traveling in Kenya and I met a refugee from Zimbabwe. He said he hadn’t eaten anything in over 3 days and looked extremely skinny and unhealthy. Then my friend offered him the rest of the sandwich he was eating. The first thing the man said was, “We can share it.”
Cheers to life.

Friday 4 July 2014

To Risk


To laugh is to risk appearing a fool.
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach out to another is to risk involvement.
To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self.
To place your ideas and dreams before a crowd is to risk their loss.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To hope is to risk pain.
To try is to risk failure.
But risks must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.

Some Amazing and Unknown Facts



Some Amazing and Unknown Facts
Ants never sleep!
When the moon is directly overhead, you will weigh slightly less.
Alexander Graham Bell, the inventor of the telephone, never called his wife or mother; because they were both deaf.
An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.
“I Am” is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
Babies are born without knee caps – actually, they’re made of cartilage and the bone hardens, between the ages of 2-6 years.
Happy Birthday (the song) is copyrighted.
Butterflies taste with their feet.
A “jiffy”, is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
It is impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.
Minus 40° Celsius, is exactly the same as minus 40° Fahrenheit.
No word in the English language, rhymes with month – orange – silver -or- purple.
Shakespeare invented the words “assassination” and “bump”.
Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.
Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
The names of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with.
The sentence, “The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog” uses every letter in the English language.
The shortest war in history was between Zanzibar and England in 1896. Zanzibar surrendered after 38 minutes.
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
The word “lethologica” describes the state of not being able to remember the word you want.
Camels have three eyelids to protect themselves from the blowing desert sand.
TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters on only one row of the keyboard.
You can’t kill yourself by holding your breath.
Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks or it will digest itself.
The dot over the letter “i” is called a ‘Tittle’.